


My Immortal

by Sarina_Hawke_Theirin



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Angst, Gen, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-03
Updated: 2014-10-03
Packaged: 2018-02-19 17:57:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2397533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarina_Hawke_Theirin/pseuds/Sarina_Hawke_Theirin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Distraught by the memory of the only woman he ever loved, Cullen finds a reason to go on. Based on my previous fic, A Love Forbidden: Cullen's Story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Immortal

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Bioware owns all characters and worlds. Song lyrics by Evanescence.

_You used to captivate me by your resonating light_  
_Now I'm bound by the life you left behind_  
_Your face—it haunts my once pleasant dreams_  
_Your voice—it chased away all the sanity in me_

 _These wounds won't seem to heal_  
_This pain is just too real_  
_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

_-Evanescence_

Days passed into weeks and weeks into months following Serena's death. Walking through the vast corridors of the royal palace that might have once been his to command, Cullen couldn't help but see his lost love in every shadow in every room. Her memory haunted all his thoughts, both waking and sleeping. He'd hoped that a stay at Castle Redcliffe would clear his head. Surely some time away from Denerim could ease his troubled mind.

It didn't take long for him to realize his error in judgement. In fact, he had barely stepped through the door before he was drawn to the room that he and Serena once shared. The room where she first confessed her true feelings for him. He knew it was a bad idea, that it would just make the pain he felt in his heart worse, but he couldn't stop himself.

Upon entering the bedchamber, he headed straight for the bed and lay down. He closed his eyes and could feel her soft breath on his cheek, smell her sweet perfume, feel her fingers raking through his hair.

_Maker help me, Cullen. I love you. I've always loved you and I love you more with every passing day._

Hot tears burned his eyes and spilled down the sides of his face. He rolled over and screamed into a damp pillow. His chest wrenched with agonizing pain as his heart shattered for the thousandth time. He was supposed to protect her. To be her shoulder to cry on, her unwavering rock to lean on. But he failed. Failed at all of it. Instead, he lost her in the blink of an eye. He couldn't save her. How would he ever be able to live in a world without her, especially when everything reminded him of her and what they shared? There was nowhere in Ferelden he could go that didn't serve as a reminder of her. Her memory was eternal. She was gone, yet she was everywhere.

When he finally reached exhaustion and his eyes were on fire from the expulsion of every tear he could possibly shed, he lay there staring at the very pillow that had once cradled her beautiful cheek. He was dead inside, like one of the walking corpses that once haunted the hallway outside that very room. He no longer had a purpose, no will to live. He closed his eyes, recalling the last night he and Serena spent in Redcliffe. Then he remembered a promise given in the dark. He told her he would take her to Kirkwall after the Blight ended, that he would help her find her family.

He sat up and slowly put his feet to the floor. He had to get back to Denerim. He would ask Alistair to write the Knight-Commander in Kirkwall and request a transfer to the Gallows for him. He cared nothing for the duty or code of the order, but he would return to the templars. For her sake, for the sake of the vow he made to her. He had no clue what he would do or where he would end up once that promise was fulfilled, but he finally found a reason to go on. For a little while longer.


End file.
